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The Battle of Waterloo has been reproduced in videogame form on more than a dozen occasions and yet so far no-one has got round to modelling one of the most important factors in the French defeat – Napoleon’s colossal haemorrhoids. (It’s said that chronic piles limited the Little Corporal’s mobility during the battle by keeping him out of the saddle). Developers GSC had the opportunity to rectumify this grievous situation with this standalone expansion for Cossacks II, but – criminally – they’ve parsed it up.
Okay, I promise there’ll be no more hanus bum puns in this review. Apart from that one. Really, from here on it’s all probing questions and sober analysis…
